It was a blazing hot day, my face felt like it was about to explode. I was thinking of going for a dip in the middle of the lake today, I asked my mate Tom but he was not interested. He was chillin out by the fan and he said for me just too go and he will come on our speed boat later. Tom and I (Jake) live on a street called Ramsay Street. Tom and I are both 22 because we are twins, We both have black wavy hair, we both have blue sparkling eyes and we both look alike. We also lived by a lake called ‘The Hunaku Lake’ and it was in our back yard. I would say it is a quite big lake my mate Tom thinks it's quite small. People think that there is some sort of dangerous fish in the lake called piranha but I don't believe it.
I mean I've been fishing in my speed boat and I've been swimming in the lake for like 1 year and a half years now and I've never seen a piranha before. Well anyway I went up to get my swimming gear on and I headed out for the lake. My mate Tom said he'll drop me and then he'll come and have a dip later.
So I hopped into the boat and off we went into the cool lake. When we got there I knife my toe on the knife we always carry in the boat and it started to bleed really bad, but that didn't stop me from hopping into the lake.
As I jumped into the lake I saw my blood drizzled everywhere. Tom left and he was halfway home. From a distance away Jake could see two small fish. They were brown, scaly, bony fish, with sharp horizontal shining white teeth, with fins that spiked up like a really sharp needle.
I knew now that there was a dangerous fish in the lake called piranha. As soon as I saw the piranha nose twitch I knew he could sense the smell of my blood. As the piranha started coming towards I yelled "TOM TOM!" screaming to the top of my lungs “TOM TOM!" I said repeatedly.
As one as for all Tom saw me and turned around and the piranha was getting closer, and so was Tom. Tom was about 10 seconds away and so as the piranha, I was starting to panic. Tom and the Piranha was neck and neck. Tom came close and pulled me up with luck the Piranha just nipped my toe nail.
“Thanks Tom,” I said gently “ahh it’s nothing,” replied Tom. As me and tom headed off home tom was telling me something. he told me too always trust people around you especially people that have been around here more than you. From this I learnt a very valuable lesson ‘always trust in your self and other people’.
THE END.
1 comment:
Great narrative story Taylor, it is very imaginative and creative. You have really shown your writing skills and taken upon the feedback I gave you when re-crafting your work. Keep it up!
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